When we think of a good person, the best person, the most spiritual person, we may think of someone who is only in the light. Where bliss is a daily experience, where there are no feelings of anger or stress that "normal" people deal with. This person probably has no sexual desires whatsoever. S/he is so pure, so happy.
Let me tell you something- if this person still occupies a physical body, s/he STILL has a shadow self. The "dark" side that we understand represents sexual desire, anger, greed, any negative emotions. It's hard to hold both of these contrasting thoughts in mind- surely this person of grace is defiled by having any of these emotions or urges.
No. Anyone who tells you they don't experience darkness while they are light is LYING TO YOU. And what more, on this journey, you experience them more intensely than you ever have.
It is part of human existence. We will deal with darkness within us for as long as we live and then after, too. The trick is to grow in tune with them, to integrate that shadow self so it does not control us. To master it.
Uncomfortable feelings and memories will come up on our journey, always. It is about processing and releasing enough of what causes us chaos and learn how to best integrate it to help us along our way. I still get angry, frustrated, scared, stressed. My path has put me more in touch with these feelings that I wanted to deny and shove in a box somewhere and bury forever. But now that I've brought them out into the light, I use them differently. Instead of anger, it is righteous anger. Instead of frustration/hostility, I use it as a tool to know that when I am frustrated, something is wrong within the situation or interaction and I must do something- I use it as a moment to know that there is choice.
Negative emotions are a sign of intelligence, and what you choose to do with them IS that test of intelligence. When you are fully controlled by negative emotions however, that is not intelligence. That is having less consciousness than an animal.
Sexuality is a natural part of our human existence. To be on this earth means we were brought here by sexual means and it means that we also are driven by our natural programming to reproduce. That is in our human contract. And it is a way for us to express the merging of our spiritual selves, and to communicate love and trust. And however that sexuality plays out (and I would argue that kink is a far more evolved and creative way of expressing that sexuality) is perfectly okay. It is perfectly PURE. It is part of the way we ground ourselves in our human existence, through our spiritual selves.
The Submissive Man is a more Evolved Man.
Regardless of whether we are true submissives or not, our approach to attracting a woman's attention is very similar. We all try to be chivalrous and personable. However, the true driver and motivations are very transparent and different. The true submissive is about pleasing the woman and feeding her pleasures. The non-submissive is in a quest to satisfy his own release and to feed his fleeting orgasm.
For the non-submissive, the woman is the object for their pleasure. With a submissive their object is the pleasure of the woman.
Submissive men focus their energies on the woman. They make themselves available by understanding the intimate needs of the woman. The happiness and pleasure of the woman is very important to them. They make themselves available emotionally, physically, mentally, sexually, spiritually and in any other ways they can, solely to please the woman. This in itself creates a high level of intimacy. It is through this intimacy that he is able to service and submit to the woman. He has let go of his male ego and has accepted that he is here to serve the woman. This sort of relationship leads to both partners discussing the most intimate and depraved thoughts and acts honestly without any prejudices. He understands that there is a higher calling than his own fleeting orgasmic pleasure. He forgoes that fleeting pleasure for something far greater, the pleasure of his woman. That brings him joy and happiness. He places her needs over his , and that creates the holy union.
The relationship between a Dominant Female and submissive man is deep. This cycle of Her pleasure and him pleasing Her, creates a cyclic chasm, that deepens. She's reaching new states of pleasure and him reaching deeper states of submission and devotion. This cycle inherently creates a bond in which both unleash their primal animal within them. This allows for a myriad of fantasies to manifest, wherein both are always in touch with their sexual and spiritual selves.
So to all submissive men, we are more evolved and are vibrating at a higher plane. This helps us to get in touch with the divine superior female and be there for her multiple pleasures. It sets us free.
Be honest with yourself. Self-awareness is key. Live your truth.