Has it occurred to you that we are all ACTING. Every single day of our lives? We may have a grasp of our "personalities" as is constructed and defined through living our lives, and other people may understand us as such, but WHAT IF all that we think we are is just a mechanism of control to feel safe in a predictable reality?
For instance, if I associate myself as "sweet", I act in accordance to that because then other people respond to me nicely. It's a way of controlling other people's reactions to me, because I have the experience of knowing that being "Sweet" begets a certain response.
But I am so much more than just that one quality that's come to the forefront of "who I am". We are all more than how we are defined, how we allow ourselves to be defined, and how we understand ourselves. Because we are WHOLE people.
When we let go of that subconscious control, we start to understand our real depths. We start to understand how much more is within our potential. We also start to see the full range, and appreciate that range, in other people. We can handle it because we can handle it within us.
The more we acknowledge things about ourselves, maybe qualities we've discarded, we can see how productive they truly are. Only when buried do they reveal their counterproductive sides- i.e. assertiveness can become aggression, confidence can become arrogance, etc..
My style has gone inward.
What this interiority means is a refocusing on the self. A centering. Like meditation, it's a chance to reconnect and disconnect from the chaos of the world. From projecting our energy outward so much that we lose our balance.
Traditional BDSM in my mind is one that is performative. It is about the outward experience- taking a fantasy and turning it into reality. It is about physical sensation, about sight (the clothing of the domme, the dungeon) and as much as I do love all that, I saw so much potential for more that is within.
What I've come to find in the years that I've been fortunate enough to meet different types of subs is that they are ALL seeking SOMETHING. The domme is a guide, a facilitator for a fantasy. And I've come to find that even though a session can be top notch, there is never a moment when reality can fully match a fantasy.
To get someone in touch with that fantasy so that it becomes REAL and LIVED is my aim. And that is why I'm now integrating real hypnosis into my sessions more and more. The body responds to everything as if it's real. Imagine sucking on a lemon- do you feel the acid in the back of your throat? The body follows the mind- that is why my focus is always on the mind, because that is the doorway.
There is nothing that can't be satisfied when we dig deep into what the subconscious wants.
Upon viewing Himalayan Buddhist tapestries, I initially thought the figures that looked like demons to be just that: demons. They were lower than the hero, who is usually buddha, seated in the center of the piece as if disrupting him, encircling him. I consulted a break down of the various elements of the art. In fact, the demons were called "protectors"
They are light beings who are there to protect the hero under the guise of antagonizing him.
I ask you to keep this in mind in your own life.
Recently, I met a wonderful woman who was suffering from a heavy heart. She lost something she wanted- a promotion. She was so close to getting it but many of her coworkers went behind her back and voted against her. She was grief stricken of course. As we talked, she told me that when it had first happened, a friend said to her, "What if you found out that those people were actually angels in disguise? They kept you from an opportunity that wasn't right for you,"
She said that changed everything for her. What she initially saw as backstabbers were actually there serving the purpose of protecting her from something that could have harmed her, or gotten in the way of her destiny.
I've written about this in the past. Although I was grief stricken from losing an opportunity that I was sure was my calling, at the time, with perspective I now understand why it was that many people in my life tried to acknowledge that it was a blessing. At the time I dismissed their words thinking they were just trying to absolve me of pain and trying to find meaning in something destructive, but as I've ventured further in my spiritual journey I have come to find that indeed
OBSTACLES ARE BLESSINGS. THEY ARE GIFTS TO HELP US MOVE FORWARD.
We cannot evade pain. Ascension is not comfortable. Every day it is uncomfortable. We experience pain in our process of growth, that's why it is called a growing pain. In retrospect, every event that either did not work out the way I wanted it to or that put pain in my way has been something that has allowed me to grow tremendously.
When someone gives us SHIT. They are really giving us lemons. And as the adage goes, you must make lemonade. Otherwise what the hell are you doing sitting in a pile of lemons.