Sexual energy is true creative life force. Think about it: it's through our sexuality that we can get closest to being Creator. We literally MAKE ANOTHER HUMAN BEING. Harnessing our sexual energy means we can create and manifest the things that speak to us- our highest ideas cannot come to fruition until we access this energy.
BUT as a society that wants to not only disempower us but also profit from our disempowerment, it's easy to see why sexuality, even the most vanilla kind, can have so many aspects of shame, guilt and repression surrounding it. If each of us could access our pure sexual energy sans blocks, then we'd all be autonomous beings with no fear to prey on, no sublimated desires, endless energy to direct to our goals and NO NEED for authority or buying products we don't actually need. See- they need to create a lack, they need to create fear to sell products and propaganda.
For instance, when we become sexually repressed, that sexual energy is then managed by the unconscious which consumes so much energy, more energy than if it were released. That takes away the bulk of our energy from directing into our actual goals. Then because we are also lacking true sexual expression which doesn't mean that we have sex all the time, it just is an energy and a way of being, then we become a sex obsessed culture which we ARE. Subliminal programming and even very overt programming and advertisements exploit this very fact that we are obsessed with sex because we are divorced from true sexual energy and fulfillment. The fact is we can have a lot of sex but still feel like we are not expressing our sexual energy or truth as a sexual human being. This culture relies on that empty sex because that also fuels the cycle of repressing true sexual energy and experiencing a lack within. We as beings are intelligent- we know that there is something inherently missing in our experience and we seek to find it but we become so disconnected and confused that we think the source is in endless products.
Even as the most vanilla and "accepted" sexual being, we still have blocks in our sexual energy because sexuality is complicated and it evolves. By sticking yourself in a box of "I'm this way and I'm that way" it's nice to know preferences but it also on some level blocks exploration. We are always changing as human beings.
When we are kinky, it is usually something very deep rooted stemming from infancy, or when we were a toddler- most people who are kinky have told me this. Other times it can stem from dynamics, or trauma, or curiosity- but even in these cases, we can only be curious about something that deeply interests us because it is a part of us whether we decide it will be in the future or not, or how much energy we allot to it. There is another strata of repression and shame surrounding anything that is outside the box of "normal" and although as a society we are growing more comfortable with non-linear approaches, there is still a ruling stigma which can affect us in more ways than we know. I also know that many people who are on the path of self exploration and actualization, who are kinky by nature, find professionals like therapists who they for whatever reason, do not feel comfortable discussing their true desires with. This reinforces the blockages. Discernment is not about telling everyone, we can decide what to share when we share it, but the discernment's roots ought to not stem from fear of judgment, fear of isolation or abandonment etc..
Many of us have our kinky desires hidden in the subconscious where it becomes darker and rules us without our knowing. This is where true shadow work comes into play.
So that's where my work comes in- it's like expressive therapy in a way, like art therapy. Not only do we have a healing dialogue about it and find the roots, dig them up or nurture them so that they do not hold control over us, but that we then better understand ourselves in a safe space of no judgment. It doesn't have to be me, it can be someone else you connect with- but make sure always that the path is towards productive means, not destructive ones. Some can get stuck in replaying traumas that are not moving them forward but yet, just reinforcing negative patterns. It's important in however way we choose, that we choose to evaluate and remove blocks towards our creative life source and therefore, we gain access to our highest potential.