We're all some form of a control freak. That's what anxiety and worry are about- wanting to control the future in some way that elicits feelings of out of control-ness in the present. We plan. We micromanage. We try to control other people even in subtle ways. And yet, we still feel out of control most of the time. WHY?
Because this form of grasping for control is indicative of NOT having true control over the self. What's controlling the self are all these unconscious behaviors and patterns in our subconscious. When we bring these to light, to our conscious awareness, we then can control our actions, our reactions, our emotions, and when we change those actively, we also change the way others respond to us and ultimately our whole reality.
But why do we not want to reach full self-mastery? Because it's true commitment to the self. Most people don't want to know themselves that deeply. Most people never do. But if we dig deep and learn the roots and causes of what's ACTUALLY going on within us, we then have more of a sense of pure control which means we no longer need to control that which we CAN'T fundamentally control or change. This means we reduce our anxiety, our worries, our fears GREATLY. And once we do, well, we have more control to give over to people like me in safe spaces. That means we can get more of a sense of surrender.
When we get a hold of ourselves, we allow others to hold us too.
Has it occurred to you that we are all ACTING. Every single day of our lives? We may have a grasp of our "personalities" as is constructed and defined through living our lives, and other people may understand us as such, but WHAT IF all that we think we are is just a mechanism of control to feel safe in a predictable reality?
For instance, if I associate myself as "sweet", I act in accordance to that because then other people respond to me nicely. It's a way of controlling other people's reactions to me, because I have the experience of knowing that being "Sweet" begets a certain response.
But I am so much more than just that one quality that's come to the forefront of "who I am". We are all more than how we are defined, how we allow ourselves to be defined, and how we understand ourselves. Because we are WHOLE people.
When we let go of that subconscious control, we start to understand our real depths. We start to understand how much more is within our potential. We also start to see the full range, and appreciate that range, in other people. We can handle it because we can handle it within us.
The more we acknowledge things about ourselves, maybe qualities we've discarded, we can see how productive they truly are. Only when buried do they reveal their counterproductive sides- i.e. assertiveness can become aggression, confidence can become arrogance, etc..
ALL of us are guilty of this- we have a set standard to which we strive to be. To function, we need to have this. This is the amalgamation of what others have deemed appropriate. To put it simply, this is the ego.
The EGO has a standard of perfection. Even if you aren't a perfectionist, you can still define perfection. The key is recognizing that even though EVERYONE CAN define perfection, everyone defines perfection differently.
So even if you live by your own version of perfection, most others will not see you as such. What is perfection? It is pure ILLUSION. If you live in your own illusion of perfection, you feel impenetrable. You're living life the right way. You must be- WRONG.
When we examine what it is that we believe is perfect and how we adhere to it, we can easily let go of it. These are restrictive patterns that we must let go of. Instead, we need to establish VALUES. Instead of perfection centered living, we become value centered. Instead of judging ourselves and others for upholding perfectionistic ideals, we sort them into our values to have a deeper understanding of how they function. We don't look at the surface anymore, we look deeper at the truth. If someone is in their own truth and it violates our own, we no longer need to share space with that person. It's always a choice, but we need to respect other people's truths and hold them accountable to such living. That is the only standard.
There seems to be a discrepancy: why is it that for the law of attraction to work, we must clearly know our objective
YET the catch is not to send too much energy towards that outcome, because by doing so we attach to it which will chase it away and extend too much of our life energy?
How do we set our goals clearly yet adhere to the Zen Buddhist mentality for success, which is to LET GO and detach from outcome in order to achieve it?
In my studies of metaphysics and spirituality, I've come across many contradictions so I'm here to solve them as best as I can in the most digest-able way I can.
ANDDD the answer to success is SURRENDER. To know clearly what it is you want, to sent the intention towards them, but to also let GO after this step in the process. To be OKAY with not receiving it and giving your faith over to the higher order- to know in your heart and mind that if it's not in your divine plan, that it's alright, you accept what will come.