If you've had perpetual boundary violations since you were young, the likelihood of your energetic boundaries being destroyed are 100%. There are 7 layers of energy in the human aura, and they all inform the world of different things (ex: relationship with money, with people.. some people perpetually repel or attract certain substances material or otherwise)
Haven't you noticed how some people you just naturally react to a certain way? You could know nothing about their personality, and perhaps if you are retrospective you might think, "why did I act like that with that person?" when you know you don't normally react a certain way.
For instance, I have a friend who mentioned how a woman she knew would, at every social gathering, somehow attract the unwanted attention of a sleazy sexual predator type. She noticed that even though she was at the same parties as this girl, she'd never attract this same kind of attention. This girl had a past where she was sexually abused and she was unknowingly attracting these situations due to her trauma.
Or for instance, I had a friend who was used to caustic, demeaning treatment. At the same gatherings, we would sit next to each other and talk to the same person, yet the reactions she garnered were always hostile and mine were peaceful. For instance, one time we were at a Q&A and she asked a question right before me. She got shot down and humiliated in front of the auditorium, whereas that didn't happen for me.
This is because your energy is informing the world of how to treat you. If you have unresolved traumas or patterns you haven't cleared, this is why whatever is unresolved is coming back to you time and time again. These are BLESSINGS in disguise, because they tell you what it is you still need to clear that is clearly impacting you.
For instance, for many years I would randomly attract men who out of nowhere would blow up at me and scream at me in public. I wouldn't even do anything and somehow these emotionally unstable men would verbally attack me. No one else was attracting this. Then for many many years I attracted men who would start chasing me, sometimes in broad daylight, threatening to harm me. No one else would, so why was I?
The answer is because my father used to blow up at me and attack me at random, and other times he would chase me around the house threatening to kill me. These were unresolved traumas that not only impacted my energetic body, but my energy centers too. More on energy centers later-
If you become more aware and mindful of what your energy is dictating, you can CHANGE it and then attract what it is you WANT as opposed to the past.
Those of you who, like me, have had damaged energetic boundaries from abuse, will most likely keep in the pain and keep out the good. I grew up not being able to absorb or receive love, support, compliments. But every time someone treated me badly it would be stored in my energetic body because it matched the pain inside my soul. The pain body then builds up. The good thing about this is that the bigger the pain body, the bigger the opportunity and potential for CHANGE and COMPASSION. If you've experienced pain, you have the depth and knowledge to help others who feel pain, too.
Then there was the pressure I felt from others to "forgive" and just carry on as if nothing happened in the past.
Let me tell you something- forgiveness is not to pardon someone else's poor behavior. Forgiveness is for YOU. For you to let go of the pain in your heart and to move on. Sometimes it has little to nothing to do with the other violator especially if they have not demonstrated clearly that they would like to change. And let's be clear that saying they'd like to change, or apologizing, is not the same as actually showing it. We can choose not to associate with people who harm us, because our duty is always to look after ourselves. This message is purely for those souls who put others first, not the dog eat dog types out there who exploit others to get ahead.
How do you reset your boundaries beyond mindfully identifying where the damage is? Being consciously aware of where the damage originated and making a conscious decision to change it. To release the pattern. Reprogram. Energy healing, reputable spiritual advisors all help to change this if you cannot do it yourself. And you will see your outer world change as you do less. We may think that our personalities and appearance determine how the outer world responds but no- it's energy that's informing other people's energy and subconscious that's the greater source of information.