Sacral Chakra & Submission

I write this because on a planetary level, we are all going through a sacral chakra healing.

Have you been feeling more emotional lately, or have had pain in the lower portion of your stomach?

Have old, emotionally charged memories surfaced?

If so- you're undergoing the healing.

Part of being human presently enforces us to bury our true natures to the point where we don't know who we are or how we feel. Numb the pain mentality is prevalent. We do what we can to get through our days, sometimes and then we go through bouts of frustration, stress and we don't know why. 

Our sacral chakra is the energy center that sits at our lower abdomen. For men and women, it governs sexuality, creativity, emotions, intimacy and money. It also is the center that can be blocked by shame and guilt. For men, it also can be blocked because it is feminine and many men are taught through tenants of masculinity to repress feminine energy. For women, we are taught to disown our natural feminine in a femininity negating culture where feminine sexuality is denied (slut shaming etc..) and we're taught to be ashamed of our femininity (think about the embarrassment and shame tied to menstruation). Many women in toxic industries that disown femininity because feminine traits are "weak" and women must act like men in order to get ahead, will often develop illnesses in feminine areas like ovarian cysts, etc because that's a metaphysical extension of the denial and repression and self-hatred re: femininity.

We hold our true sexual identities here- that which brings us pleasure. And pleasure brings us back to ourselves and to our source. I'm not talking addiction riddled, over the top pleasure, but basic pleasures of being human including a healthy sexuality. What we regard as "kinky" or "queer" or that which isn't within the culturally defined box of "normal" sexuality we often repress or cover up with shame, which then distorts, blocks and alters the energy flow of our sacral chakra, which then blocks all which is associated- creativity AND money and access to SOURCE energy, AND intimate relationships. Yes- distortions with one will impact the other. Not to mention, distortions in one energy center will affect the quality of the flow through all other centers. This impacts internal balance and wellness. Ideally we want to be a clear channel so source energy can flow equally through all parts of us.

That's why for those of you who truly have a submissive nature (and arguably many men have more difficulties with admitting to this because of what's expected of them in society and different industries) will often have blocked sacrals that then block the energy flow into other aspects of their lives. This is when disease happens, or especially pertaining to the sacral, sometimes men can develop sexual dysfunctions because of blocked emotions they're unconsciously not allowing themselves to process, or, more literally, they cannot "connect" with their partners because the fear of intimacy is too strong and has not been dealt with.

If you are a submissive, choose the dominant that resonates with you (and say it's mutual), allowing yourself to submit to not just him/her/they, but to YOUR true nature will relieve a ton of the blockages and resistance in your sacral chakra related to shame and repression. Arguably shame and repression surrounding sexual identity is the biggest thing holding back the evolution of humanity. We need to embrace our sexual natures in a healthy way in order to become fully EMBODIED.

This requires true vulnerability, not just to self, but to him/her/they. Vulnerability is the precursor to self-awareness, connectedness and surrender. We can't receive if we aren't vulnerable, just like we can't be perceived if we aren't. If we don't allow ourselves to be seen, we'll be invisible to ourselves and everyone else. And surrender is the ultimate precursor to liberation, which is the pathway to the highest vibrational state of peace and nonresistance.

When we get there, all things open up, including our hearts.

Have you been looking for meaning for a while? Do you feel lost? Well this is how you find it.

Dropping Fear

I used to be so fearful. When I worked in a dungeon I could barely go outside sometimes for fear that someone had seen my photos online. I imagined that everyone was judging me and so I clung to my "other" life at the time, the socially acceptable one, the "student".

For years I felt this shame and fear of exposure. I kept the sides carefully segregated- no one in my vanilla life knew what I did because I feared rejection. Really, it was my own self-rejection I was afraid of. I think we can all understand the impulse to overcompensate when there's something that we don't like about ourselves, or want to hide.

And one day, I stopped caring when I realized that the structures that I was taught (i.e. don't tell anyone your real name) were rooted in fear. No one shared anything personal about themselves purely because they were afraid. Many of these people hoped to one day abandon their "shadow work" and go into the vanilla world, so I understand this fear of disclosure. I had thought that the only way to be acceptable would one day leave this behind and call it a phase. I was in denial that this was a true part of me. 

It wasn't until I decided to drop the fear to be myself did I start meeting people who were like me, who had stuck with this profession for the long haul out of love. They had normal, wonderful, open lives. And I saw my scope expand. I could be myself, without sacrifice, and by putting myself honestly, and openly, out there, I would attract just the right people who would encourage me along my path. Otherwise, by living a lie, I would do nothing except attract dishonesty, or people who would have a problem with who I was inside.

Of course I still struggled. I kept both sides of me down in order to not expose one another, in case it would upset someone. And in the end, I feel the fear slowly slipping away even more. Without knowing how much fear I had within me, it's something I can only identify in retrospect. There's so much change happening on an unconscious level once we set out to change that's gradual, but the days add up and we will never be where we once were even if we go two steps forward and one step back.

Now I'm ready to be public. I don't care if my identities blur. This is me, and it's alright if the world knows who I am. And you will see just how much potential for liberation is in you, too.

We deserve to be happy. It is a basic human right.


Upon viewing Himalayan Buddhist tapestries, I initially thought the figures that looked like demons to be just that: demons. They were lower than the hero, who is usually buddha, seated in the center of the piece as if disrupting him, encircling him. I consulted a break down of the various elements of the art. In fact, the demons were called "protectors"

They are light beings who are there to protect the hero under the guise of antagonizing him.

I ask you to keep this in mind in your own life.

Recently, I met a wonderful woman who was suffering from a heavy heart. She lost something she wanted- a promotion. She was so close to getting it but many of her coworkers went behind her back and voted against her. She was grief stricken of course. As we talked, she told me that when it had first happened, a friend said to her, "What if you found out that those people were actually angels in disguise? They kept you from an opportunity that wasn't right for you,"

She said that changed everything for her. What she initially saw as backstabbers were actually there serving the purpose of protecting her from something that could have harmed her, or gotten in the way of her destiny.

I've written about this in the past. Although I was grief stricken from losing an opportunity that I was sure was my calling, at the time, with perspective I now understand why it was that many people in my life tried to acknowledge that it was a blessing. At the time I dismissed their words thinking they were just trying to absolve me of pain and trying to find meaning in something destructive, but as I've ventured further in my spiritual journey I have come to find that indeed


We cannot evade pain. Ascension is not comfortable. Every day it is uncomfortable. We experience pain in our process of growth, that's why it is called a growing pain. In retrospect, every event that either did not work out the way I wanted it to or that put pain in my way has been something that has allowed me to grow tremendously. 

When someone gives us SHIT. They are really giving us lemons. And as the adage goes, you must make lemonade. Otherwise what the hell are you doing sitting in a pile of lemons.


For all of my life it baffled me why my experience of the world was so radically different from most others.

Why could I easily pick up the feelings, thoughts and even physical symptoms of others? Why do I feel all of this as my own? I thought it would be the death of me- who wants to walk around carrying the burdens of others ALL of the time? I thought the physical was only in relation to my family, those of whom I have a deeper connection to- ex: having a sudden pain in my left abdomen, to later hear my mother say, "I need to go to a doctor for this pain in my left side"- she then points to the exact area that's hurting. Most recently, I went to visit my friend's father who is ill. I suddenly had a sharp pain in my left leg. I asked her if her dad had this- she said, "he was having trouble walking yesterday"

I always knew I was very different and life was in ways a lot harder for me. You have no idea what it's like to be so sensitive to what other people think of you, of themselves, and automatically be connected to not just them but everyone they're also connected to. How come my hands can scan someone and automatically know where there is a blockage or injury? How come most others will never know what this is like?

This "magic touch" carries a strong response from animals and children, as well. Children who usually do not associate with anyone will automatically bond with me. Animals are drawn to me. It is the weirdest thing.

It wasn't until I delved further into spiritual teachings did I start to understand. Prepare for very esoteric definitions- if this is not your cup of tea I advise to stop reading now.

Through working with a spiritual teacher I learned that I have been "activated" before in a past life- what this means is that it wasn't just this lifetime that I "awakened"- my supernatural sensitivities were accessed and developed in the past, that's why I have the ability to draw on them now. With a kundalini awakening we can tap into our spiritual gifts but they take years usually to evolve- he was shocked at the speed at which I've been ascending and acquiring/building skills- he has never seen this before. 

My body and mind have been going through a rapid clearing- releasing traumas, toxins and old energetic patterns. I grew up with scoliosis and that has been self-correcting- I kid you not.

What I've learned up to this point in my own journey is that the impossibilities we're taught in relation to our own bodies and selves is a conditioned pessimism. We are taught not to be reliant on our own healing so that we can always be dependent on others. We have the power and capacity to heal ourselves with our minds ONLY if we commit to clearing the programming that causes us distress. 

You would be surprised to know how much of your energy is being used to repress desires and subconsciously manage ego defense mechanisms. Once you let that go, you have unlimited amounts of energy to channel into your pursuits.

I'll lead the way. All you have to do is follow.