ALL of us are guilty of this- we have a set standard to which we strive to be. To function, we need to have this. This is the amalgamation of what others have deemed appropriate. To put it simply, this is the ego.
The EGO has a standard of perfection. Even if you aren't a perfectionist, you can still define perfection. The key is recognizing that even though EVERYONE CAN define perfection, everyone defines perfection differently.
So even if you live by your own version of perfection, most others will not see you as such. What is perfection? It is pure ILLUSION. If you live in your own illusion of perfection, you feel impenetrable. You're living life the right way. You must be- WRONG.
When we examine what it is that we believe is perfect and how we adhere to it, we can easily let go of it. These are restrictive patterns that we must let go of. Instead, we need to establish VALUES. Instead of perfection centered living, we become value centered. Instead of judging ourselves and others for upholding perfectionistic ideals, we sort them into our values to have a deeper understanding of how they function. We don't look at the surface anymore, we look deeper at the truth. If someone is in their own truth and it violates our own, we no longer need to share space with that person. It's always a choice, but we need to respect other people's truths and hold them accountable to such living. That is the only standard.