When we think of a good person, the best person, the most spiritual person, we may think of someone who is only in the light. Where bliss is a daily experience, where there are no feelings of anger or stress that "normal" people deal with. This person probably has no sexual desires whatsoever. S/he is so pure, so happy.
Let me tell you something- if this person still occupies a physical body, s/he STILL has a shadow self. The "dark" side that we understand represents sexual desire, anger, greed, any negative emotions. It's hard to hold both of these contrasting thoughts in mind- surely this person of grace is defiled by having any of these emotions or urges.
No. Anyone who tells you they don't experience darkness while they are light is LYING TO YOU. And what more, on this journey, you experience them more intensely than you ever have.
It is part of human existence. We will deal with darkness within us for as long as we live and then after, too. The trick is to grow in tune with them, to integrate that shadow self so it does not control us. To master it.
Uncomfortable feelings and memories will come up on our journey, always. It is about processing and releasing enough of what causes us chaos and learn how to best integrate it to help us along our way. I still get angry, frustrated, scared, stressed. My path has put me more in touch with these feelings that I wanted to deny and shove in a box somewhere and bury forever. But now that I've brought them out into the light, I use them differently. Instead of anger, it is righteous anger. Instead of frustration/hostility, I use it as a tool to know that when I am frustrated, something is wrong within the situation or interaction and I must do something- I use it as a moment to know that there is choice.
Negative emotions are a sign of intelligence, and what you choose to do with them IS that test of intelligence. When you are fully controlled by negative emotions however, that is not intelligence. That is having less consciousness than an animal.
Sexuality is a natural part of our human existence. To be on this earth means we were brought here by sexual means and it means that we also are driven by our natural programming to reproduce. That is in our human contract. And it is a way for us to express the merging of our spiritual selves, and to communicate love and trust. And however that sexuality plays out (and I would argue that kink is a far more evolved and creative way of expressing that sexuality) is perfectly okay. It is perfectly PURE. It is part of the way we ground ourselves in our human existence, through our spiritual selves.