Currently writing this from LA. For the last 9 years I’ve spent about 25% of my time here. In the next year, I’m planning on bumping that up to about 40%. I’m on my way to being truly bicoastal
I’ve put myself on a regimen of spin classes, sauna and epsom salt baths every day since being here. Detoxing my body felt necessary. I also took the liberty of detoxing mentally and emotionally. This takes the form of several exercises. Today’s involved writing down 5 (well, I wrote down 6) of the closest people to me and writing down the attributes I admired and the attributes I felt were flaws.
Commonalities emerged. The people closest to me had: warmth, loyalty and independence in common. Their “flaws” I found were attributes I also didn’t like about myself.
As much as ego-centricism is toxic, ego is healthy as that’s what our worlds are comprised of. We’ll never reach a truly objective standpoint so as much as we need to try to stay away from the world revolving around us, in essence it does because we imbue it with our own meanings. The attributes I wrote down were ones that elicited a strong reaction in me. They were ones I noticed and sorted, out of the 10000’s of attributes any one person can possess. The ones we notice always tell us something about the work we still need to do on ourselves.
Try this exercise and see what it tells you. Only if you feel particularly open to a real confrontation.