Discipline & Punishment

During a conversation today over Kava (have you guys tried this stuff?? It's intense!) I learned that in some cultures, meditation is used as a punishment in schools.

This immediately cued "WRONG" in my head- as someone whose profession depends on understanding discipline & punishment, let me share with you my thoughts.

When I was a child, my parents used practicing the piano as a punishment. Whenever my friend did something wrong, my dad not only pushed the responsibility onto me because he needed someone who he could punish (and- he said, it's your friend, so you take responsibility- further instilling my destructive behavior of taking on the responsibilities and lessons of all of my friends from that point on) but he and my mother would force me to take a seat at the piano. I can't tell you how many days and nights I was crying at the piano- on the verge of panic attacks. Piano to me not only has the association of physical and emotional pain, but also large doses of anxiety, unhealthy surveillance, fatigue, boredom and TRAUMA. My mother wondered why all these years I could not stand the sight of a piano- she thought it was some childish rebellion on my part- NO.

It's simple. Like pavlov's bell, she and my father trained me to think of the piano as PUNISHMENT. By nature I am not a submissive, so I do not go willingly towards punishment.

This created yet another broader association- all music was then tainted for me. It's a pity- I can sight read just about anything and growing up I was always used in music class as an example of perfect pitch when I played the violin and clarinet. The other kids definitely hated me for that.

So think carefully about what associations you are creating- this gets complex in BDSM especially because it depends on the psychology- some subs as masochists so using pain as a punishment IS NOT A PUNISHMENT AND ACTUALLY ENCOURAGES THE BEHAVIOR THEY GET PUNISHED FOR. Unless this is what the scene entails- reward as punishment- plenty of role plays do this- but do not get the two confused.

ALWAYS UNDERSTAND THE INDIVIDUAL PSYCHOLOGY- NOT EVERYONE'S TRIGGERS OR VIEWS OF REWARD/PUNISHMENT ARE THE SAME- MAKE SURE YOU KNOW YOUR OBJECTIVE.