This session was interesting because I usually ask my new subs/slaves before their first session to send me a few BDSM videos they like so I get a peek into their mind: what demeanor, what aesthetic are they drawn to? He wrote to me that he found 0 videos he liked, but couldn't stop reading my blog or watching my videos. It was ME he was drawn to. In our 2 hour session, we did massive amounts of emotional processing- to a point during which he broke down and I had him lay in my stocking clad lap while I felt the unlocked, repressed emotions alongside him. It felt dulled, like feelings he had put in a mason jar, hid in his closet and forgotten about- I told him this analogy and he agreed this is what he felt. He left with an energy surge in his crown (and if you're familiar- this is the signature of the start of an awakening- do some research if you don't believe me) and a new lightness both of which I felt. He also mentioned that there was something about being under me that felt so familiar- he was linking it to childhood, but it was his first session and he hadn't experienced this in actuality. This is sensory/emotional de ja vu- a feeling of connectedness. It is from the soul.
This session is special to me because it was one of the first during which I learned to fully channel my energy and healing- I had been giving people awakenings and surges of adrenaline from the time I started without being aware of it- but this was just before it started occurring to me consciously what was happening and I learned how to hone it. We need more people like him- I have a lot of respect for him as an individual. I feel blessed to have helped him in his journey.
The emptiness is an ego-death (Jungian term). The part of him that held on to old beliefs, lingering toxicity had left. That is why he feels lightness and more productivity. He can now operate on a higher frequency. Life will be easier, more abundant and full of more good things, one after another.
This is from just after our session:
yesterday was at first anxiety-producing (as you immediately picked up on), then very familiar (being under You) and finally calming. all three stages were big surprises to me. i still can't figure out why it was familiar, but it really was.
i felt empty this morning, like things have changed and i have no choice but to get used to it. i have an overwhelming desire to be Your sub completely - but am not without some anxiety about what that will mean.
last and not least, i was surprised that the session at the time didn't wholly feel erotic in the traditional way (i felt it mentally just not always physically) - but it was without a doubt the most intense experience of my life. i don't know what to do with all the excess energy i have now.
This is from today:
it's been 2 weeks since my session with Mistress Aleta and i feel like new. She pushed me (hard), calmed me, and i left with a renewed sense of purpose that has been with me ever since. She read me perfectly - anticipating my reactions, feelings, needs. the session has been on my mind nearly every day - i know the people around me see a difference. i think it's simple - i feel awake for the first time in a long time. i am grateful.