Vibrational Shifts

How do you know when you’re about to upgrade in vibrational frequencies?

What this means is there’s a heavy clearing in your energy field, patterns are being shifted out and therefore, everything in your life that doesn’t match your new energy will shift out as well.

You know because you’ll intuitively start clearing things in your home. You’ll suddenly feel like throwing things away or moving things around. You’ll also get a desire to purge energetically in other ways i.e. you’ll either start looking for healers, or upping your work out routine, or clear your body w/ saunas, treatments, colonics. You start to eat lighter. Things also start to feel unsettled and there’s a sense of “grasping”, it’s as if there’s a part of you trying to hold on to something for dear life.

These bouts happen to me infrequently, but when they hit, everything seems to go haywire. That means appointments I’ve had on the calendar randomly cancel, friends start dropping off, clients suddenly do too, and as scary and chaotic as it seems, there’s a part of you that’s assured, too.

You match with people and situations at certain frequencies and when you shift up and clear whatever match you have, they no longer can stay within your vibrational reality. That’s why suddenly, there’s a clearing in all areas of your life. YOU may even start to distance yourself randomly from people who it felt the days before, felt so close to. Suddenly there’s a repulsion where there was an attraction.

When this happens, stay calm because the new space will be filled with people and situations that match your new vibration and will introduce a new, better reality. It’s a human thing to hold on to things, but know that sometimes letting go is what frees you into a higher vibration.


For some of my clients working on relationships, I always ask, "how do you define love?" 

Usually, people have a mapped out, higher-consciousness philosophy of what love is. Ask me, and I'll reply the same.

I'd probably say something along the lines of: "I see it split into a few levels- biologically it's when hormones are flooding the body similar to an addiction, physiologically- it feels incredible to be around someone and everyone else disappears, they become what feels like "yours", spiritually, it's a union of souls that mirror one another and are along a joint path. Overall it's a strong sense of connectedness,"

I've read so many philosophical and scientific books on love, even took a course on love in college. I understand, or at least, I think I do.

So then, as someone, and as people collectively who have such a strong grasp on what "love" is, ought to be, why is it that it's the source of so many of our problems and headaches?

The reason I ask my clients what Love means isn't because I'm looking for the answer above. It's because I'm trying to help them see the truth of love's association in their minds. There's usually a dissonance here between what love means, and what love "is" or "was".

Consciously there's a reckoning of what love is in an ideal sense, but subconsciously, love maps are encoded in a way that is out of our control, that is created by our caregivers, our family and our relationship patterns. When we grow up in a family that is less than ideal, who mistreated us, it's no wonder many of us become consciously afraid of love, even though we consciously don't understand why. Many of us seek to create familial patterns in our love relationships for better or worse. We're all looking for "home" afterall. 

Take for example: my first love. He was someone who fought with me endlessly. It became about his needs and emotional volatility, and he literally would lock me in his apartment because he didn't want me to ever leave. He wouldn't let me hang out with my friends and when I was out at night (it was my first year in college no-less, I wanted to make friends and be out) he'd harass me and whine until I would give in and he'd come pick me up from where ever I was. I fell in love with him, hard, and love became associated with a feeling of entrapment. Of abuse. Of claustrophobia. Of anger, resentment, a robbing of personal agency, draining and fighting. No wonder I was terrified of it from that point on.

I remember even talking to one of my best friends at the time about it and he said, "the way --- treats you is like you're an abused child,"

It didn't click until years later as our subconscious has a way of hiding patterns from us because sometimes we're not ready to acknowledge it, he treated me the exact way my parents used to. Consciously I knew he was toxic for me, I wanted to get out of the relationship, but my conditioning, my subconscious was used to this: his insecurity, his lack of emotional responsibility, his lack of maturity, his acting out, were things I was well-equipped, and used to, handling. It felt familiar, therefore, it felt safe. FELT is necessary here, because it wasn't actually safe.

I used to wonder why when someone outright harassed me, I'd feel overly sympathetic towards them and love them more. I was used to overjustifying and being overly compassionate with my caretakers, explaining away their actions and overlooking how I felt. I was supposed to be grateful, to be a good daughter, and so being those things means disowning what I felt deep inside- hurt, abandoned, rejected, angry, frustrated, resentful

It's painful to reckon with, and scary that on the "lower" level, our past is still following us, but also recognize that there are positives to this unconscious love mapping. I am attracted to strong individuals, self-made individuals, individuals who have endured many hardships to get to where they are. I am attracted to people who are ambitious, focused and brilliant- as both of my parents were.

On the flip side, I also have incredible chemistry with men who are emotionally unavailable, people who have issues communicating, who are factual to the point of emotional vacuity, angry and narcissistic. I recognize that and as I work hard on changing it, what happens is each cycle in which my life is filled with certain people who activate those triggers, they actually become more available especially as we identify and say no to it-- our cycles repeat, yes, but it's up to us how much we try to clear that energy and imprint and progress is made when we recognize that there's movement until one LAST clearing and then it's out. Sometimes, and especially with familial patterns, usually we're resisting change because there's a part of us that's still holding on. We're holding on to our parents, of what they were to us, and what they could have been. Consciously I'm understanding that the LOVE that's innately wired in me isn't the love that's healthy for me, and that LOVE doesn't mean what I think it means, what I feel it means, or is something I really know at all despite endless intellectual parsing.

This is odd to say as someone who, as you may have read, radiates an unconditional love. It's usually one of the first things people notice about me, write about me- my love. I know what love means spiritually, I know what unconditional love is and how to give it, but on this human level it's a very different story for all of us.

The Submissive is Always in Control

Is that true?

No, that's a cliche.

It's not about the illusion of control, but truly if there is trust, attraction, faith, you can go a lot further. When someone trusts you because you've earned their trust and when you say you won't drop them, they'll fall backwards into your arms.

That's when you get into REAL power exchange.

Not everyone is willing to go that far, but if you find the right person and you can, so much opens up. It's limitless.

I don't know how many subs I've had who have all said to me, "I've never done that before" no matter how many dommes they've seen before. They let me, because they know I have their best interest in mind, they've opened up their mind and because of that, they've found a new pathway of pleasure and learned something new about themselves.

They learn to tell their own stories differently and that subtle shift in narrative means everything.


xoxo AC